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by Janet Inglis, author and psychologist
In today's world of relocation, 'dual career partnerships' is the current
buzz phrase and serious attempts are, quite rightly, being made by many firms to help
partners to find employment in their new location. But some partners are positively
pleased to have a break from the workplace.

They may have young children and want to be able to give more time to
them, or elderly parents at a distance, which requires them to make regular trips to
ensure they are taken care of. They might want to have time to reassess their career
values and aspirations. Or they may want to take the precious gift of time to devote to
some personal goal - writing that novel, learning to play the guitar, or registering for
an MBA by distance learning. Following are examples of how some spouses have spent their
time abroad.
Mary lived overseas for 30 years, having moved 29 times and lived in 11 different
countries. She states: "I try to have a project in each country on which to focus. In
Dubai, I took up golf, in Borneo it was bridge, in Nigeria I wrote a 6 part mini series
for television called the Expats and in Holland I learned how to do beautiful folk art
painting on wooden furniture!"
Mary's first port of call in each country is a local Bible Study group,
after which she searches for an international church, where she almost always finds a real
mix of people. AWC (American Women Club) groups have also been an important focus for her
social life.
A few options for spouses who do not wish to seek employment overseas.
Social
There are 76 FAWCO (Federation of American Women's Clubs Overseas) branches all over the
world (see www.fawco.org) where women can meet other
expatriates and take part in social, educational and philanthropic activities. If there is
no AWC branch locally, there may be other international English-speaking clubs or
societies, some of which are open to both men and women.
Educational
Furthering one's education is always an option. A very useful web site www.icdl.open.ac.uk is a register of thousands
of distance learning courses worldwide, maintained by the British Open University. It
gives details of courses, which range from MBAs to a variety of certificate courses
including French, computing, psychology and even law degrees.
Volunteer
Sandra's husband was posted to Russia, in an area where there are few western facilities.
She joined an international women's club, was elected to the charities committee and spent
her time helping local women to set up schools and medical facilities. "It was
incredibly rewarding," she says. "People there have so little and are so
grateful for what you can give them. I believed we made a real difference to women's
lives."
Enjoy the culture / learn the language
If your family receives a posting to Europe you will have the opportunity to explore many
different countries and cultures more easily, as distances are small and differences
large, and the infrastructure of roads and public transport tends to be very good.
In more exotic postings, travel might be more difficult, but you may
find opportunities to explore jungles, deserts, busy markets, temples, etc. Always make an
effort to learn the local language - it will give you access to the culture and will be
appreciated by the people who live there.
Many women, and an increasing number of men, who follow their partners overseas have found
that the freedom to broaden their horizons through travel, pursue self-development and
devote more time to home and family can be an incredibly rich and rewarding experience. As
Mary says, "I wouldn't trade it for the world!"
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Janet Inglis is the author of Handling Holland: A Manual for
International Women published January 2002 (see www.xpat.nl).
She is a chartered psychologist who offers a career advice service to international women
in Holland. See her web site: http://www.careersadvice.org
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