by Janet Inglis, author and psychologist



In today's world of relocation, 'dual career partnerships' is the current buzz phrase and serious attempts are, quite rightly, being made by many firms to help partners to find employment in their new location. But some partners are positively pleased to have a break from the workplace.

They may have young children and want to be able to give more time to them, or elderly parents at a distance, which requires them to make regular trips to ensure they are taken care of. They might want to have time to reassess their career values and aspirations. Or they may want to take the precious gift of time to devote to some personal goal - writing that novel, learning to play the guitar, or registering for an MBA by distance learning. Following are examples of how some spouses have spent their time abroad.

Mary lived overseas for 30 years, having moved 29 times and lived in 11 different countries. She states: "I try to have a project in each country on which to focus. In Dubai, I took up golf, in Borneo it was bridge, in Nigeria I wrote a 6 part mini series for television called the Expats and in Holland I learned how to do beautiful folk art painting on wooden furniture!"

Mary's first port of call in each country is a local Bible Study group, after which she searches for an international church, where she almost always finds a real mix of people. AWC (American Women Club) groups have also been an important focus for her social life.

A few options for spouses who do not wish to seek employment overseas.

Social
There are 76 FAWCO (Federation of American Women's Clubs Overseas) branches all over the world (see www.fawco.org) where women can meet other expatriates and take part in social, educational and philanthropic activities. If there is no AWC branch locally, there may be other international English-speaking clubs or societies, some of which are open to both men and women.

Educational
Furthering one's education is always an option. A very useful web site www.icdl.open.ac.uk  is a register of thousands of distance learning courses worldwide, maintained by the British Open University. It gives details of courses, which range from MBAs to a variety of certificate courses including French, computing, psychology and even law degrees.

Volunteer
Sandra's husband was posted to Russia, in an area where there are few western facilities. She joined an international women's club, was elected to the charities committee and spent her time helping local women to set up schools and medical facilities. "It was incredibly rewarding," she says. "People there have so little and are so grateful for what you can give them. I believed we made a real difference to women's lives."

Enjoy the culture / learn the language
If your family receives a posting to Europe you will have the opportunity to explore many different countries and cultures more easily, as distances are small and differences large, and the infrastructure of roads and public transport tends to be very good.

In more exotic postings, travel might be more difficult, but you may find opportunities to explore jungles, deserts, busy markets, temples, etc. Always make an effort to learn the local language - it will give you access to the culture and will be appreciated by the people who live there.

Many women, and an increasing number of men, who follow their partners overseas have found that the freedom to broaden their horizons through travel, pursue self-development and devote more time to home and family can be an incredibly rich and rewarding experience. As Mary says, "I wouldn't trade it for the world!"

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Janet Inglis is the author of Handling Holland: A Manual for International Women published January 2002 (see www.xpat.nl). She is a chartered psychologist who offers a career advice service to international women in Holland. See her web site: http://www.careersadvice.org